When you learn to let go your hands will open to what wants you instead of grasping at what’s struggling to get away.
About 6 months ago I had someone leave my life, rather abruptly and without explanation. I went from confused, to hurt, to angry. I didn’t know what to do. I like clarity and closure on most things, especially relationships.
When I was a young adult, my mother gave me a book by Shakti Gawain called “Creative Visualization” which laid out some very simple rituals for visualizing what you wanted in your life. Through the years, I have used these techniques to deal with certain challenges or even dreams about how I’d like to see my life. It’s not magic or voodoo. It’s simply intention.
One other way my mother taught me to deal with issues I was having with important people in my life was to write letters. Sometimes the letters were sent. Most times they were not. Sometimes the letters were even ripped up or burnt. The intention of writing the letters was not to gain clarity or closure but to let go. Often the people we so want to interact with us don’t want to or won’t interact the way we want them to. However, the energy of the unresolved issue has to go somewhere. If it isn’t dealt with it stays inside us, often causing sadness, confusion, anger and resentment. In some cases it causes disease ( think about that word for a minute: Disease/Dis-ease). I, for one, do not want to keep that negative energy inside my body, heart or mind.
Back to my friend: Because my attempts for reparation were ignored, I wrote my friend a letter and told him that I really wasn’t sure why he’d ended our friendship so abruptly. I told him that I was so sorry if I’d hurt him, and that I was searching to find out what I had done to him that was so irreversible. I couldn’t think of a darned thing (and I am very hard and critical of myself).
I went over a years worth of interaction with him and felt absolutely lost in what had happened. I explained all of this to him and ended the note by saying that whatever the reason was, I respected his wishes not to interact with me and I wished him all the best. I addressed the envelope, put a stamp on it and mailed it. Then I let go. I let go of expectation that he would respond. I let go of having resolution. I let go of the need for clarity. I let go of the need for closure.
And by letting go, I actually got closure.
This morning, I woke up to a text from my friend. He apologized to me for being such a jerk and explained why he had eliminated me from his life. I had already suspected the reason (which is personal and outside both of our control) but hearing it from him gave me peace. The interesting thing is that when I saw the name on the text message, I actually had to scan my brain to remember who this person was. It’s not that I had forgotten him, because I thought of him rather often, but I had forgotten that we had an issue at all.
That is the power of letting go.
I encourage each and every one of you to look at where you are holding on tightly to something that isn’t helping you and just.let.go.You can follow the author on Twitter @sugarwilla if you like or Click Here to get Real Zest via email.