What are the tapes in your head playing over and over again?
When making decisions or thinking about your dreams and desires, do they often get hijacked by a but or an I can’t because? For most of us the answer is yes. The question, though, is why? Why do we allow ourselves to be held captive to our tapes? Or even the recordings of others?
I am someone easy to leave, Even easier to forget
A voice, if inaccurate
I’m but a thorn in your sweet side
You’d better off without me, It’d be best to leave at onceI’m the one they all run from
Diatribes of clouded sun
Someone help me find the pause buttonAll these tapes in my head swirl around
Keeping my vibe down
All these thoughts in my head aren’t my own
Wreaking havoc……Alanis Morrisette – “Tapes”
These tapes are built into our psyche. When we were born, we were blank…no information stored onto this (somewhat archaic) storage device. Little by little, our family recorded information onto the magnetic strip of the little tape in our mind and soul.
Later on, we observed things in the world while making decisions and judgements based on our experiences, then recorded our new beliefs about those times onto the tape. Things people said to us were recorded and for some reason the most negative stuff seemed to have been amplified so that we heard those things above the good.
There is no fact-checking before adding something to our tape. We just walk around and gather information that, especially when heard externally and repeatedly, is accepted as fact. It’s no surprise that we refer to those tapes when making decisions.
For example, I am inspired on a daily hourly basis. I have so many ideas about what I want to do with my life and they’re all possible until I listen to my tape. When I think about the stationary store I’ll own one day my thoughts turn to how it will look, smell, and how the parchment will feel between my fingers. I dream of how I’ll inspire people to communicate with one another through handwritten words again. Then the volume gets turned up and my tape blares out: but you don’t have time, where will you get the money? and you don’t know where to begin! I push the dream aside and carry on with my laundry.
When thinking about following my other passions, the volume again gets turned up; you aren’t qualified, you should really go back to school to gain some knowledge, people will think you’re a poser. Now, I realize that NONE of this is true, but for a moment I do accept it as such. It’s almost impossible to ignore these voices because play is pressed immediately with the initial thought.
Here’s another thought: Remember those blank Maxell tapes we’d record our favorite songs on? When we got tired of the songs on those tapes, we could record new ones without any trouble. The other really awesome thing about tape technology was that we could press pause and consider what just played, or fast forward to reach song we really wanted to hear.
We can do that with the tapes in our heads, too. It’s hard work, takes dedication and self-love, but it can be done. We may not have had much say as children, but as adults we have the information and the ability to re-record our tapes with positive messages.
You can do anything
13 Comments
As a former mixed tape enthusiast-cum-reluctant mixed CD maker, I am delighted with this metaphor!
You know the bit when you’re between songs and you decide to do a bit of stream-of-conscious narrative? Nobody does that for CD’s. Nobody. Tech has improved but we’re less-personalized.
I’m with Willa on handwritten notes, too!
I completely identify with this post. My mix tape plays the negative on a tiring loop. When I try to change what is recorded with positives. Many times I reflect on them as things said out of obligation while the negatives I blindly take a hard fact.
ditto. I don’t believe a word or that positive, validating BS I try to feed myself.
Thanks Lindsey!
Seth-I think the art of handwritten notes has died. I hope to inspire people to bring it back!
Becci-Here’s something new for your tape “You are a beautiful, capable, loving woman…who can do ANYTHING!”
Much love.
I’ll get your address. I write lovely letters. Just takes a long time. Totally worth it though. When was the last time you re-read an email many times?
Well, other than one I’ve sent. =P
Seriously.
I’d love to receive more lovely letters. My girlfriend Mon always sends me handwritten cards.
Emails are easy to delete….handwritten cards and letters are tangible and have been touched by the sender, making them invaluable and hard to give up.
Thanks for the metaphor. My mixed tape used to be very negative and self defeating. It’s taken years of hard work, a solid support system and catching myself in the moment when I slip up to “re-record” many messages. I love the concept and hope others will be able to make new tapes for themselves. As for the written word, I just love the look on my kids’ faces when they see mail addressed to them. It’s too much fun. I’m not sure your cards will be “G” rated though.
I’ve seen first hand how you handle yourself, Teresa and it is obvious that you have this one licked!
My store will cater to everyone…I assure you. xo
Great post! My oldest daughter had REALLY TOUGH teen years, so much so that she went to a therapeutic boarding school. While at the school my husband and I attended many seminars at the school and the idea of tapes was talked about frequently. It was great to learn how to stop, rewind and/or erase and record over your tapes! When I find myself playing my old tapes I put on Natasha Bedingfield’s “Unwritten” song to remind me not to go down that road. Thanks for the reminder to stop those old tapes from playing!
Jennifer, I will check out that song. Thank you for mentioning it.
I think it’s amazing that there are times in our lives ( your daughter’s difficulties, for instance) that allow us to learn. I’m so glad more people are talking about our inner programming.
At least it wasn’t Nickelback. =)
That’s a tape we should all avoid playing.
I have a little morning routine that involves recording something good over the first few minutes of tape that probably were too grouchy for anybody to want to hear!
Too funny, Sethtacular. xo
I need to get in the habit of doing morning “recordings”