Before we get too far, I have to confess that I don’t have a daughter. I’ve always wanted one, but it just never happened. However, there are things I wish girls knew and understood before they started on their future. They’re the things I wish someone would have talked to me about when I was younger.
Sure, these topics had been brought up in one way or another, but I never really understood what they really meant until after it was too late.
1. Never Rely On Someone 100%
I wish I could tell my daughter to never put herself in a situation where she is completely reliant on someone else to the point that she’ll be left stranded. I want to tell her to make sure she always leaves herself with options and always have a little nest egg she can use in an emergency or and income of her own that will help her get by.
I still want her to trust her significant other, but I know how hard it was for me when I found myself with nothing. I don’t care if it’s divorce, death, illness, accident, or some other tragedy. I know something is bound to happen in the future and I want her to be prepared.
2. Make Sure To Take Time To Enjoy Life
I would like to tell my daughter to work hard. Nothing worth having will ever come easy, but I also want her to know how important it is to stop and take a breath. I want her to take delight in the simple things and not let life get too complicated.
I know all too well how quickly the demands of everyday life can take over until it’s too late. One day, you wake up and realize you’ve missed out on so many things you can never get back. I’ve also learned that big trips, expensive gifts, and planned parties aren’t the things I reflect on the most. The things I find most important are the simple and mundane things I used to overlook and find annoying at times.
3. Make Choices For You, Not Others
I believe it’s extremely important to consider other’s thoughts and feelings when making a decision. I don’t believe in stepping on someone just to get ahead. However, I still wish I could tell my daughter to make sure she always does what’s best for her and her family.
I’ve found that, no matter what you do or how carefully you considered others, there’ll always be someone who thinks you should have done things differently. If you continue down that path, you realize one day that you’ve done nothing to help you achieve your own goals and dreams.
4. Trust Your Instincts
I don’t know how many times in my life the little voice in the back of my mind warned me about something and I didn’t listen to it, only to pay for it later. If I had a daughter, I’d want her to know that your instinct is there for a reason.
Even if she doesn’t follow it every time she notices it, I want her to at least acknowledge its there and think about what the little voice in her mind is telling her. Someday, it could make all the difference between life and death.
5. Surround Yourself With Those Who Care
I wish I could explain to my daughter that, while there’s a little bit of good in everybody, we’re all human. Many times, people do and say things because it benefits them. The world is also loaded full of people who will do whatever it takes to get what they want. In many instances, it’s these people who can pose the biggest threat to you, your family, and everyone’s happiness.
I want to tell her to take everyone with a grain of salt, but make sure to hold those who truly love you close. One day, you’ll be very glad you did.
What are the big life lessons you hold dear? What are the important things your children should know about life?
8 Comments
Beautiful blog post. I do have a daughter, and I have tried to teach her all of these things. Most recently, your lesson 1 is where I had to focus, as she graduated from college and moved across (or almost across) the country to share a life with someone with whom she fell in love. She did not want to take her car with her, thinking that public transportation would suffice. It was quite a challenge to put the possibility in front of her that things might not work out as she hoped, and that having a vehicle to pack and leave in without a moment’s notice might be an important option. She finally got it, after the fourth or fifth round of discussion, I am thankful to report. They are still together; they are still in love. Lesson 4? It was only very recently that my daughter stopped rolling her eyes when I would say, “I dunno, but I just have a funny feeling about that.” She’ll catch on.
Yes, she’ll catch on! I’m glad I didn’t take too long to start listening to my mother. Such a wise lady! =)
Also, I’m glad things worked out for your daughter. Such a lovely waste of worry!
I agree with you, though I’d change #1 slightly. I’d tell my daughter to never rely 100% on someone who did not care enough to help her with a backup plan. I’d tell her to go ahead and be a SAHM if she wants, but not if she is marrying a guy who doesn’t believe in life insurance.
I’d tell her to plan, and to plan for plans to change.
Oh if I could go back and trust my instincts instead of taking random advice from people who didn’t know me well!
Thanks for the great post. =)
I’d tell my daughter that it’s okay to cry, to be uncertain, and to feel as if all is lost… but it is not okay to give up faith in herself.
I couldn’t always be there for her but I’d like to hope that she will be. Not sure if that makes sense. =)
Love this list.
My opinion on point #1 lies somewhere between Alyssa’s and Connie’s.
Having a backup plan doesn’t necessarily mean that a wife cannot trust her husband. Rather, it is a fallback if something happens. One never knows if her husband will become unemployed, ill, or even pass away unexpectedly. Sometimes, there may be a need for an extra source of income when times or tough… or when a weekend getaway needs some extra funding.
Even if a woman is a SAHM, marketable skills not only come in handy but help to maintain sanity. Maintaining certifications, and staying current in one’s field helps to keep the mind sharp.
Desirable men are not threatened by women who can be self-sufficient if they choose to be. In fact, it is very appealing to marry someone who can be more like a friend and an equal (regardless of traditional gender roles) as a confidant who can be relied upon.
Alyssa, even if you never have a daughter or even a niece, I hope that you will share some of your wisdom with the next generation of women. A little encouragement goes a long way.
What an awesome post! I agree with all of your points.
It’s challenging to give this advice to anyone without making them guarded and cynical, but it is so important.en
I think following our instincts is the most important, yet the most difficult to do. When I look at my life, and the times where I have ignored my instincts, it saddens me. From it, though, I know there was a lesson to be learned.
Thank you for reminding me about making decisions for myself, not others….as a pleaser this one is a hard habit for me to break. I think women are taught to take care of others above themselves, or else they are selfish. I’m working on being “selfish”….it’s time.
Thank you.
I would give the same advice to my sons